Business Bunker Radio
Channel Radio

01233 220 035

on Air

07392 508 726

off Air

Feedback Myths

Five common feedback myths

By Becky Westwood, Organisational Psychologist at Monkey Puzzle Training and Consultancy, and author of ‘Can I Offer You Something? Expert Ways to Unpack the Horrors of Organisational Feedback’

Feedback has been a recognised business tool for a long time. It can help boost performance, align efforts and build a culture that supports continuous growth and adaptability. But many companies and organisations fail at feedback. Myths about the process can play a huge roll in undermining the effectiveness of feedback.

When doing the research for my new book, ‘Can I Offer You Something?’, what became clear is that common myths can become truths and quickly affect how feedback is used or not used in support of people’s development. Soon an organisation can have a feedback culture that is unintendedly working against it and you, whether you are the provider or recipient of feedback.

So, what are these common myths and how can you move beyond them to have a more purposeful relationship with feedback?

Myth #1 – There is a universal formula

As is often the case where different people are involved, a ‘one size fits all’ strategy rarely works. This approach can result in people having too much or too little feedback, that’s hard to process, exchanged in a way that isn’t authentic.

It’s important to consider that if there was a universal formula to exchanging feedback, all organisations would encourage their employees to use feedback in the same way. In reality, everyone experiences feedback differently and there is no universal formula, but there is likely to be a ‘right way’ for you. The more you can understand about your own feedback preferences and share them with those you work with the more benefits you will get from engaging in feedback.

Myth #2 – Feedback is a one-way street

Recipients can feel as though feedback is being ‘done to them’ and as a result may start to disengage from the content and even the person providing the feedback. If, as the provider, you are feeling any anxiety about giving feedback, it’s likely that this experience may be exacerbated by your desire to ‘just get it over with’. You may end up inadvertently ‘dumping’ your feedback on the recipient and over time find that you get asked to share your perspectives less often.

In reality, feedback is a conversation that goes back and forth between provider and recipient. People are more likely to stay present and engaged with the conversation if the feedback is offered with empathy and shared in a way that suits both people. This puts the human connection back into the centre of the exchange. As my research found, 82% of people want feedback to be more relational.

Myth #3 – Asking questions is a sign of defensiveness

If the recipient of feedback does not have the space to ask questions for clarity (for example, they are worried it will be seen as being defensive, or trying to justify), then it’s likely they will fill in the gaps themselves; we are meaning-making machines after all. This can lead them to assume they know what the provider meant and use their time and energy in a futile way to action the ‘wrong thing’. Many people providing feedback, feeling anxious, just want to get it over with and so they unintentionally omit space for asking questions. This will likely lead to having to repeat the whole conversation again to clear up any misunderstandings or uncertainty.

Asking questions to clarify information can demonstrate curiosity and help you to build not only your self-awareness but also your awareness of others and limit unhelpful meaning making.

Myth #4 – Feedback is a call to action

For the person on the receiving end of feedback, this can be particularly problematic when they get lots of conflicting information. I once worked with someone who was told to both stop and start the same thing by two different people. This led to what I call ‘analysis paralysis’ as they tried to pick through all the information. In cases where feedback is not clear, recipients can bust themselves trying to action everything or focus on things that are not actually a priority. This can lead to missed opportunities, missed deadlines and frustration all round.

Feedback is really about inspiring choice, you offer someone some perspectives on something, and they can choose what to do with it; take it on board as a moment of recognition; learn, act or do nothing, without being penalised.

If what you’re offering someone will lead to an unhelpful consequence if they don’t act, then be clear and tell them. What you’re actually doing here is providing a direction, not feedback, and it’s useful for everyone to understand this and be clear on next steps.

Myth #5 – ‘Critical’ feedback is the most useful

This often goes hand in hand with the idea that people know they’re doing a good job and so don’t need to be told. This type of approach to feedback can lead to increased feelings of anxiety as people start to perceive feedback as a threat, especially if it only contains criticism. It follows that people will be on their guard or wary about what they’ll hear. This may cause them to feel judged personally, rather than being a reflection of what they have or haven’t done.

The truth is that negative and positive feedback can be equally uncomfortable, motivating, and challenging to both give and receive.

Regardless of how the feedback is labelled, it is important that it works for the person on the receiving end. After all, this is who it’s for. The first step to busting this myth is understanding. For what purpose do you want to offer or receive feedback? And then to use this to focus your efforts. From whom might you seek feedback? Or, how might you offer it to the human in front of you?

Summary

The more these myths play out, and are left unchallenged and unquestioned, the further embedded into an organisation’s culture they become. If you want to have a more purposeful and beneficial relationship with feedback, take a step back and ask yourself, how do you really know what you know about feedback? By doing this you can get curious about the influence these myths have on your behaviour and bust them for good.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Becky Westwood is an Organisational Psychologist, and Chief Experience Officer of Monkey Puzzle Training and Consultancy. Becky is author of ‘Can I Offer You Something? Expert Ways to Unpack the Horrors of Organisational Feedback’

Web:

LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/beckywestwood/

https://www.linkedin.com/company/monkey-puzzle-training-and-consultancy-limited/