Coachability

Don’t work with a coach who doesn’t have a coach

By Clare Norman, author of ‘Cultivating Coachability’

Coaching isn’t always the intervention that will meet your need. But if you have established that it is and if you are ready to do the hard work of thinking with a coach at your side, vet them well. No one is perfect. So, you’ll need a significant pinch of salt on hand if a coach claims, of even hints, that they have it all figured out. The reality is that every coach needs a coach of their own. And a coach supervisor. And a coach mentor. And a therapist. Maybe not all at the same time, but each of these roles helps to shape a coach to be the best they can be for you.  You should expect this of them. 

Before you agree to work with a coach, check that they have a support team. This tells you that they are serious about doing their own work, that they recognise they need to deepen their own awareness about their own trials, tribulations and triumphs.  The more they understand themselves, the more they can stay out of your way as they help you to understand yourself.  Otherwise, they may get entangled in your stuff.  And that may well stop you from untangling yourself. 

I have worked with several different coaches over my 24-year coaching career, several coach supervisors, several coach mentors.  And just lately, a therapist (and wish I had invested here long ago).

Coaching keeps me agile

Coaching has been vital to my personal learning and growth in a way that I could rarely figure out alone.  When I worked in an organisation, I was coached on working relationships, my work itself, my beliefs about myself, my values, vision and mission.  And since becoming self-employed (ten years ago), I have sought coaching on working relationships, my work, my beliefs in myself, my values, vision and mission. And I will continue to invest, because I am still learning about who I am and what I bring to the world. 

Coaching supervision keeps me safe and sane

You may never have heard of coach mentoring/mentor coaching.  It’s a part of the International Coaching Federation’s (ICF) credentialing process.  It involves being observed by a more experienced coach, and discussing how you actually coach, with the ICF competencies as the benchmark.  Some coaching supervisors offer it, using a different set of competencies, depending on the coaching body that a coach is aligned to.  What’s special about this is that the coach is able to reflect on their actual strengths and can commit to stretches that will enhance their coaching.  Just like anyone else, coaches can be self-delusional, so working with actual coaching recordings rather talking about their coaching can get to a more rounded understanding of their real strengths and stretches. 

Coaching supervision is the place where I talk to my supervisor about the coaching work itself, where I feel stuck or lost or entangled or unsure how to work with someone or a group.  I take ethical dilemmas to chew over.  I spend time resourcing myself to be the best coach I can be. 

Therapy is making me more accepting of my and others’ imperfections

I came to therapy late in life – in the last year, in fact.  I was hesitant, believing I had no trauma to deal with and that that’s what therapy was all about.  What I have discovered is that it enables me to better understand who I am: the multi-faceted, multi-part, multi-coloured whole of me.  And without consciously trying, I have become a more loving human as a result.  This is not just self-reported – my husband tells me so, as do my colleagues and clients.  Happy-go-lucky, softer and yet still with boundaries.  I could evangelise about therapy, but I know that might switch some off.  But I do know that it has made me more relational and more empathic.

Coaches must walk the talk

Is your coach investing in themselves and their growth in a way that they are inviting you to do for yourself? It seems rather hypocritical to me that any coach would think they don’t need a coach of their own.  How can they be selling this to you, without buying it for themselves?

It’s not a once and done.  It’s a continuous exploration of becoming for all of us humans.  And if the coach is quietly or loudly arrogant enough to think they are “cooked”, move on to find a different coach – someone who has a thirst for learning about themselves as a human being. 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Clare Norman is author of ‘Cultivating Coachability’ (2024) and founder of Clare Norman Coaching Associates. Clare is a Master Certified Coach (MCC) with the International Coaching Federation (ICF), a Master Mentor Coach and a Certified Coach Supervisor. She has a Masters in Training and has received multiple awards for ground-breaking leadership development. For over 25 years, Clare has focused on maximizing individual, team, and organisation effectiveness, enabling people to express their needs, in service of a more caring world. Clare’s two previous books are ‘The Transformational Coach (2022)’ and ‘Mentor Coaching: A Practical Guide (2020)’.

For more information see: https://clarenormancoachingassociates.com/